I'm sitting here with my cat..

all day long periodically we make happy each other, touching, embracing, hugging, kissing..

I'm thinking about all the past players of my life.

You do not know who or what you are going to come across. So you might not want to forget the names, faces or places.. and might want to keep track of it.

But usually you remember those names or events at weird times and places.. at least that's what happens to me. 

All those past scenes are popping up everywhere I look at and usually I see my nightmares wherever I turn my eyes at. 

Many images are wandering around in my head's twisted paths..

and I can not know which I belong to.

I'm a dreamer.. I have always dreamt of places that are far away, fantastical.. I have imagined living different lives. I keep writing journals for a long time and sometimes stories most of them have not written down. I build up conversations that have no sound at all. 

So why not create images of these.. For this reason I have begun with the exact beginning. I have returned to my past, my childhood, my history. The places I have been and all the imaginary places I have longed to be.

All those small rooms and bars I have spent years and waited for the dreams come through/true..

I have always mentioned that having no money is the only thing that holds me. And if I had enough money I would be at the other side of the world. Anytime and anywhere..

I still do not have money, but sometimes I get really lucky.

I have just counted, I have changed 13 addresses in the last 14 years.. Two of them were number 13 and one was 213 :) 

Mosquito Net.. 'Cibinlik' in Turkish :)

There are many funny and weird things about my birth.

I remember how I wanted to have a bed with a mosquito net when I was a little girl. I do not know why I was so fascinated about it, but I remember regularly asking about one. 

Then years later I've learned about the events that had taken place at my

birth day. I had seen the photo album of myself being welcomed at the private

clinic that they had given my parents after the birth. My parents holding me and

the doctor with the nurses around the bed holding wine glasses.. Despite their drinking 

me with a red face. 

However their celebration lasted not much, the story is that my father had come to the

clinic to take us to home with our car and inside in it a baby bed with a mosquito net. 

But when they went out they had seen that the car was stolen and so my bed with

the mosquito net which I could never have and even seen. And the car was never to be found. 

As if it was not enough years later I think it was around 1980 something I remember

seeing in the newspaper the article about a doctor who was arrested because of 

replacing and selling babies. A familiar face with a familiar name; my doctor.

But don't worry I've bought myself a mosquito net couple of years ago and a purple one :)